Bare our Souls

For to you I lift up my soul. Ps.143:8

God is compassionate. In our ongoing struggles, he does not scold us when fears, doubts and emotions may arise. David leads by example through his Psalms on how to express a full range of soul responses to difficult battles.

 The soul is often said to encompass one’s mind (thoughts), one’s will, and one’s emotions. David expresses to God all that is going on within him at all these different levels, without pretending to think or want or feel something that isn’t authentic. He brings his whole self into the light of God’s gaze. Some of what he brings to light is human: natural fears, confusion, anger, doubts. Some of what he brings out of his soul into the light is sinful: blaming, vengefulness, rebelliousness, lies.

In my battles within my family, particularly when parenting children, much of my soul came to light, whether I wanted it to or not. Often what came to light was natural confusion, “I don’t know how to help this child” or natural fear, “I don’t know how to care for this need” or natural doubts,” I don’t feel equipped to parent this child well given my background…” But also when I lifted my soul to God’s holy gaze, other things came into the light; sinful anger, sinful controlling, sinful judging, sinful cowardice, sinful impatience, sinful pride. The children didn’t make me sin. Sin residing within was exposed. Before facing an external enemy, it is important to see and confess those hidden sins. These are enemies within our own souls.